Love is Blind
by BlackenedQuill
Summary: Because love should never make you feel less than. Bella reflects on her breakup with Edward Cullen. Oneshot. Written because I hate, clingy, co-dependent Bella.


Author's note: So this is just short oneshot I thought of. I really hated how Bella took the breakup. It's so unhealthy. I hope you enjoy this and please let me know your thoughts on it!

Disclaimer: I do not owner Twilight.

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 _"You just don't belong in my world, Bella."_

I'm still a little salty about that day. The way he capitalized on every fear and insecurity my stupid seventeen year old self felt. The way I let him make me feel. And you know what, I wasn't good enough for him, hell, I wasn't even in the same class of species. I used to be bitter about it, feeling as if I was at fault for being simply human. And the months I spent as a damn zombie, refusing to accept reality, refusing to move forward, at the end, I realized something- Edward Cullen might have broken my heart, but it was I that broke myself.

I put him on a pedestal, viewed him infallible, which meant I believed that him leaving me only furthered cemented my atrocious self view. But he wasn't infallible. Edward Cullen may have been a vampire, but it didn't make him any less cowardly. At some point I realized why he had left, because rationally, the only way forward was to turn me, something he refused to do or be willing to let happen. We were at a dead end. And instead of owning up to that, he turned it back on me, to make it easier on himself.

He was 117 year old child.

In retrospect, him leaving really was the best thing for me. I had been so wrapped up in my world, which only was him, that I neglicated to see other things that I might want. What was the point of living, when you had indifinite time? I was more than what I was with Edward Cullen, I had more in me. I never felt good enough for him, never pretty enough, strong enough, or smart enough. But he had 100 years of experience that I lacked, and instead of reminding me of that, he controlled me, took away my choices, made me feel like a child. And I just let him, because I believed he knew best.

I do not believe he was a bad person, he just wasn't good for me. Ironic, considering that's what he had said to me that day in the woods. Together we were toxic.

So after months and months of moping, I finally got my ass in gear. They were gone, and they weren't coming back, a fact that I needed to accept. I got up, took a shower, got a haircut and spent some of my savings on a new wardrobe. I got a diet, a protein packed diet to gain back the weight that I had lost. I decided then that it was time for me to figure out who I was without him.

I graduated and went to Harvard, got into publishing and began an amazing career. I fell in love again, and when I realized we were not meant to be, I was the one to cut things off. I became confident and ambitious. I created a life for myself. I learned that I was enough, and to be happy with who I was.

In retrospect, I guess I shouldn't have forgotten about Victoria. Just because I had moved on with my life, didn't mean she had. She wanted Edward to suffer, so I wasn't surprised she killed me. I was more surprised that she didn't realize that I wasn't fully dead before she up and left.

Three fucking days of burning. It was the worst pain I had ever been in. And the thirst, that was bad too. But the six people I slaughtered right after tasted absolutely fucking divine. But the guilt was horrific. Frozen at 25. I had gotten what I wanted as that stupid seventeen year old wanted so badly, but now I was older, wiser, self confident.

After my debacle with the six campers, I fled to Alaska. There I trained with the Denali's to help control my thirst. And it was there I realized I was shield. They were family, and Alaska was home. Of course, I knew eventually I would have to deal with the Cullen's again.

That day is today. I will be seeing Edward for the first time in ten years. Except this time, we will be on even playing field. We will meeting as equals, not me as the bumbling, insecure child I was the last time we saw each other. Now, I am a woman.

We have a lot to rebuild together. Thankfully, we now have all the time in the world for it.


End file.
